A very politically-incorrect reflection

I must say that I have a love-hate relationship with obligations. Well hate mostly. When I fulfill an obligation, I feel a sense of achievement, or as Kant would say, I have fulfilled a duty so it's right that I feel morally good. But for the most part, obligations often result in alot of bitterness for me. And I think obligations form a very important part of Asian values. The thing I can never understand is why make it so implicit about making someone do something they don't really want to and then blame them when they refuse to do it. I mean, I'm not committing a crime if I don't fulfill an obligation that is thrust upon me without my having any say in it. But we often feel an unfair sense of guilt if we refuse an unwilling obligation.

I suppose that is how most societies function, through an set of explicit laws and implicit norms that turn into duties and obligations. But really, what good will come out of something that is not done intrinsically? Do we really need to address an elder in a deferential way to show respect? If I am an elder I think I would be ashamed of myself if someone young shows deference to me if I hadn't done something to gain his/her respect. Are we being morally right to give up our dreams just because we have the obligations and duty to stay and take care of our parents? If I am a parent I would want my child to be happy. If kindness was bestowed on my unexpectedly, do I have to reciprocate even when I am unwilling to deep down inside? Afterall, the true kindred spirit would never expect anything in return for his/her act of kindness. Kant never made more sense to me until now. To me, it is the motive of an action that matters in cases like these, not the consequences.

I am not a selfish person. But if I have to give something or help someone I feel that I should be giving or helping willingly and from the bottom of my heart. I just feel that being nice and dutiful should come from within, and not motivated by obligations and societal norms. Someone can be totally obligatory and push all that bitterness deep down inside. But one day it's going to come back up and explode from within. I don't know about you, but I often find myself internally snubbing the "surfaceness" of those who portray themselves as being a person of duty out of respect for others. Sorry but respect to me must always be earned. Just because one is older does not mean that he/she is worthy of respect.

There is a Socrates saying that "True insight comes from within, he who knows what is right will do right" which I think should be applicable to everyone who has to make a decision about doing something.

I'm sick of people telling me "because it's your duty to do so" or "it's for my own good" when I question about the things I am forced to do. You got to give me a better reason than that BS which dosen't even make sense and only breeds bitterness. Don't ever try to shut me up with a "because that is the right thing to do". There is no such thing as absolutes in this world. And yes, I realized I will then have to disagree with Kant on that part.

Next time someone asks you why you are doing something, think, really think, why you are doing it before you go "because it's the right thing to do". It's tiring, but it'll give you better insights to your personal motivations.